


And I Will Always Let You Down

by femslash



Series: I Want You/I Need You [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 02:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2174382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femslash/pseuds/femslash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dun dun dun</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I Will Always Let You Down

Despite all of Miranda’s hints and flirtation, she and Jack may as well have just been friends, or enemies, or whatever the fuck they had been before Jack had kissed her. That first night had been the closest they’d gotten to fucking so far. It had been about two weeks since that incident. They’d made out, slept in the same bed, and one time Miranda let Jack grab her tits. And though she was grateful for these things, she wanted more. Jerking off in the shower to those times her girlfriend (was Miranda even her fucking girlfriend?) had shown her her genetically modified perfect chest sucked.

She didn’t say any of this to Miranda though. Jack had been coerced, or outright forced, into doing things with her partners in the past. She didn’t want to put Miranda through that. So she rolled with it, slept in Miranda’s bed with boxers on and everything, kissed her when she wanted to be kissed, and just started showering more often. They never kissed in front of the other crewmembers. At this point, everyone knew Miranda was gay, and everyone had kind of assumed Jack was queer to begin with. They knew Jack spent most nights now in Miranda’s cabin. Plus, it was well known that Shepard herself was about as gay as they came. Sexuality wasn’t an issue on the Normandy. But, Miranda wasn’t comfortable with PDA apparently. So Jack stuck to standing next to her at debriefings, stroking her arm as they sat in the shuttle. She’d take what she could get.

And then something changed.

It started out small. Miranda would kiss her on the cheek before leaving to do something with Shepard that Jack wasn’t smart or Cerberus enough for. Then she started sleeping topless, starting to allow Jack’s tattooed hands to go further and further down her body. Jack still wasn’t allowed anywhere near her pussy, but they seemed to be getting somewhere.

Then one day, as Jack was heading through the main deck to check the armoury, Miranda appeared behind her. As Jack greeted her, Miranda suddenly pinned her against the wall, greedily pressing her tongue into Jack’s mouth. Jack was more than happy to oblige her. That was, until, they heard the sound of the door to the armoury opening, and Miranda disappeared almost as quickly as she had appeared. Fucking Kasumi was barely faster than she was in that moment. As Jacob walked through the doors, he found a very confused Jack, still leaning against the wall. As she glared at Jacob, panting, she made a decision. She needed to deal with this.

Shepard had landed on Tuchanka with Grunt and Garrus earlier that day, leaving Miranda technically in charge of the ship. Which meant she’d either be in her cabin, or at the galaxy map. Jack hoped to God she was in her cabin – making small talk with Kelly was really not something she wanted to do right now. But she checked there first, grateful to find only Kelly and a handful of other Cerberus drones standing around. Ignoring the yeoman’s weak greeting, she entered the elevator, punching the button for the crew deck. 

She didn’t know if anyone else was in the main area of the crew deck – if there was, she hadn’t noticed. Jack had rushed straight to the cabin, focusing only on the doors to Miranda’s cabin. They slid open, revealing Miranda at her desk, typing something. She barely had time to look up from her computer when Jack started.

“What the fuck are we – no, what the fuck are YOU doing?”

Jack hadn’t realized just how upset she was until she got to the cabin. Her biotics had begun flaring up, a thin layer of crackling blue covering her skin. She forced herself to calm down as Miranda stared at her, visibly startled.

“What in God’s name are you talking about?”

“Like you don’t fucking know! You barely fucking look at me once we leave this cabin, we just make out when we’re in this cabin, and then today, you fucking pin me to the wall with no explanation, and then just fucking leave me like ten seconds later!”

God, the rest of the crew could probably hear her. But right now, Jack didn’t care. Fuck them all. She glared at Miranda.

“Jack, it’s not like-“

“Oh fuck, are you embarrassed to be seen with me? Or is this a fucking game to you? Yeah, let’s hurt the fucking Cerberus victim freak some more!”

Miranda got up from her desk, and began walking towards Jack. Jack allowed her biotics to flare up again, raising her arms. She wouldn’t actually hurt Miranda, she just didn’t want her touching her. It was a warning. Miranda’s eyes widened as the blue sheen enveloped Jack, and took a step back.

“Jack, please, calm down and just listen to me.”

Jack took a deep breath, and lowered her arms. She kept her biotics up though. Miranda didn’t try to move closer to her.

“I’m not exactly used to relationships.”

The shorter woman rolled her eyes, and allowed her biotics to fade completely. She crossed her arms in front of her, waiting for Miranda to go on. Miranda glanced at her, looking her in the eyes.

“I’m just, I’m not entirely sure what to do. Normally I don’t allow anyone to share my bed for more than a night, and you’ve been here for almost two weeks. I don’t know if there’s some sort of procedure we’re supposed to be following, or if I’m doing something wrong.”  
“So you just avoid the issue? You’re supposed to be this fucking genius! Not to mention you’re supposedly some control freak, so fucking take charge or something!”

“Why didn’t YOU say anything?”

“Because I didn’t want to hurt you!”

Miranda stopped, whispering “oh.” They stood quietly for a few moments, still maintaining eye contact. Jack broke the silence. She could feel tears brimming in her eyes, more out of frustration than sadness.

“…why did you leave me today? Why did you even kiss me in the first place?”

Miranda looked away from her, rubbing the back of her neck. Jack could feel tears start to slide down her face. She knew she probably looked ridiculous, but she didn’t care.

“I don’t know, Jack. I just…I saw you, and I wanted to kiss you, and then I panicked.”

“But you couldn’t give me a warning? Nothing? Like fuck Miranda, you can’t just do that!”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

Jack rubbed her eyes, putting what remained of her eyeliner all over her face. Miranda grabbed a Kleenex off her desk, and handed it to her. She nodded her thanks, and still rubbing her eyes, began to talk again.

“So you panicked when someone walked in? Fuck, you are embarrassed to be seen with me.”

“It’s not that, not really.”

Jack scoffed, balling up the tissue in her hands. “What is it then?”

“I’m supposed to be a model for the rest of Cerberus, Jack. I can’t be seen losing control like that.”

“So that’s it? Your fucking reputation with an organization that fucking ruined me is that fucking important to you!”

“Jack, no, it’s-“

Jack didn’t stay to heat the rest of it. She walked out of the cabin, flipping off Miranda as she left. Again ignoring the rest of the crew, she headed down to the lowest deck, to her cabin. Once there, Jack began to cry.


End file.
